So, after all the surgeries thus far, meds and tests, how is the leg? I am still in pain daily, I have one leg still very swollen and discolored, I don't get much sleep at night because of the pain, I am fatigued all the time and I still have more doctors visits and blood tests than I can count! The pain I have goes from numbness, pins and needles feelings, throbbing, aching and its the kind of ache that is just so relentless its almost as if the enemy himself embodies that pain and pushes till you feel like you will lose your mind! There is nothing besides strong pain meds that will relieve the pain. I am not a fan of pain meds, so I try to pray, think on scriptures and Bible teachings and just speak peace to my body. I am successful some nights and others I wrestle with the pain all night. My body is not the only front the enemy has attacked me.
Upon each surgery or admittance into the ICU there has been some kind of tribulation: misplaced blood work results, wrong blood work ups drawn, orders for surgery being lost in cyber space, insurance refusal to allow surgery, arm veins so filled with scar tissue the nurse had to find another vein to start my IV and that just names a few. Having to fight with my insurance company took the cake. They wanted me to go to a hospital that was 40 minutes further away, use a surgeon I had never met and stay over the night 3 days rather than use the physician that had been with me from the very first day! I have had to come to the hospital numerous times for pre-op blood work because the wrong orders were place, once they lost my samples all together. Now, you tell me that there wasn't a dark force working to destroy me. Here's the light, none of my treatments were ever hindered! The Lord has a plan and nothing can change His will.
So we have accounted for the outside attacks, lets recap and take inventory of the attack on my body: Clotting mutations causing a disorder, May Thurners Syndrome, Scoliosis (genetic spine disorder known to pre-disposition one to clotting), resistance to blood thinners, veins predispositioned to scarring, and a clot the size of Texas that is building a fortress to try and take up permanent residence! This clot is a squatter taking residence on my property, my body! I mean, praise God squatters rights don't apply to what belongs to God! The Bible says that my body is His Temple and this squatter is kicked out! Eviction notice served! The enemy has launched an attack I believe intended to completely destroy me and my family. His intent was to kill me but guess what, here I am, I serve a God bigger than my toughest fight. The war the enemy unleashed on me has already been won by my Savior on the cross!
So what did I do while barrages of fiery darts were thrown at me? This war is vile, vulgar and just wicked. I would love to tell you that I raged my own war in retaliation on the enemy with strength and relentless stamina...that is not exactly what happened early on even thought I had amazing support. I love my natural family, friends and my Church Family ( New Covenant Church-Hampton, VA). My church family served me with meals 3-4 times a week for 4 months and for a week after each surgery. They have prayed for me faithfully this entire year without ceasing. My Mom has kept my newborn and my other girls for every surgery, doctors visit, scan and hospital stay. My mother in law came everyday to get my kids on the bus, clean my house, feed my family and take care of me. Friends came and fed me, kept me company and gave me hair cuts/highlights, done my shopping, taken me out shopping and taken care of me. The healing room team at NCC has spoken encouragement to me, and have faithfully prayed over me and my family even when I haven't been able to physically go to the prayer room. I have had so much help and blessing that I couldn't possibly name every kind act done. There have been more people praying and sending me cards than I can count. The Body of Christ carried and still carries this burden with me.
Despite all of the care and help I sank in and out of depression, indifference, lost my joy, lost my passion for life and for God. I lost the desire to read His Word, I became short tempered, negative, harbored a shallow faith and unbelief. You see, when things are good you don't really need faith. You think you have great faith. Faith is for when we don't understand our circumstances. Faith is what we need when things are bad and when things go awry you really see what your faith is made of.
Over the next few blogs I will go over lessons I learned along the way and how the Father pulled me out of the pit I was in. This is really where my journey began.
Upon each surgery or admittance into the ICU there has been some kind of tribulation: misplaced blood work results, wrong blood work ups drawn, orders for surgery being lost in cyber space, insurance refusal to allow surgery, arm veins so filled with scar tissue the nurse had to find another vein to start my IV and that just names a few. Having to fight with my insurance company took the cake. They wanted me to go to a hospital that was 40 minutes further away, use a surgeon I had never met and stay over the night 3 days rather than use the physician that had been with me from the very first day! I have had to come to the hospital numerous times for pre-op blood work because the wrong orders were place, once they lost my samples all together. Now, you tell me that there wasn't a dark force working to destroy me. Here's the light, none of my treatments were ever hindered! The Lord has a plan and nothing can change His will.
So we have accounted for the outside attacks, lets recap and take inventory of the attack on my body: Clotting mutations causing a disorder, May Thurners Syndrome, Scoliosis (genetic spine disorder known to pre-disposition one to clotting), resistance to blood thinners, veins predispositioned to scarring, and a clot the size of Texas that is building a fortress to try and take up permanent residence! This clot is a squatter taking residence on my property, my body! I mean, praise God squatters rights don't apply to what belongs to God! The Bible says that my body is His Temple and this squatter is kicked out! Eviction notice served! The enemy has launched an attack I believe intended to completely destroy me and my family. His intent was to kill me but guess what, here I am, I serve a God bigger than my toughest fight. The war the enemy unleashed on me has already been won by my Savior on the cross!
So what did I do while barrages of fiery darts were thrown at me? This war is vile, vulgar and just wicked. I would love to tell you that I raged my own war in retaliation on the enemy with strength and relentless stamina...that is not exactly what happened early on even thought I had amazing support. I love my natural family, friends and my Church Family ( New Covenant Church-Hampton, VA). My church family served me with meals 3-4 times a week for 4 months and for a week after each surgery. They have prayed for me faithfully this entire year without ceasing. My Mom has kept my newborn and my other girls for every surgery, doctors visit, scan and hospital stay. My mother in law came everyday to get my kids on the bus, clean my house, feed my family and take care of me. Friends came and fed me, kept me company and gave me hair cuts/highlights, done my shopping, taken me out shopping and taken care of me. The healing room team at NCC has spoken encouragement to me, and have faithfully prayed over me and my family even when I haven't been able to physically go to the prayer room. I have had so much help and blessing that I couldn't possibly name every kind act done. There have been more people praying and sending me cards than I can count. The Body of Christ carried and still carries this burden with me.
Despite all of the care and help I sank in and out of depression, indifference, lost my joy, lost my passion for life and for God. I lost the desire to read His Word, I became short tempered, negative, harbored a shallow faith and unbelief. You see, when things are good you don't really need faith. You think you have great faith. Faith is for when we don't understand our circumstances. Faith is what we need when things are bad and when things go awry you really see what your faith is made of.
Over the next few blogs I will go over lessons I learned along the way and how the Father pulled me out of the pit I was in. This is really where my journey began.
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